
I have no memories of being with Jason and Sara on Thanksgiving when they were growing up. They were with their dad. Thanksgiving was NOT one of my favorite times of the year. In fact, for a couple of years when November rolled around, I found myself sneezing and feeling achy, only to discover that I was allergic to Thanksgiving Day. Until... that is until....I discovered something totally WONDERFUL!
Friend, there’s no getting around it. It hurts that your kids are not with you on a
holiday. However, face the facts. You
can’t change, fix, or reverse it. So what
can you do to make the day count? You might
have to ask God the same question I did, “Ok, Lord, my happy little image of
Thanksgiving is shot; so what’s yours?”
I’m sure God didn’t
like it either that I was without my kids, but HE wanted to give me something
FAR GREATER than the temporal 24 hour blessing of a memory with my children
eating turkey and dressing. HE wanted to
bless me with an uninterrupted day with Him alone, where my 'sole and soul' purpose was to rest intentionally, on purpose, in the center of HIS will not
mine. So what was His will for me that
day?
It’s simple (but kinda hard, too) - God commands: 1 Thessalonians 5:18 - In everything give Me thanks: for this is My
will for you in Christ Jesus.
“Everything???” I thought.
“Even a childless Thanksgiving Day?”
So I took God up on the offer to pursue giving thanks ALL day. I started a few personal traditions that I still do to this day. It’s magnificent. It’s
stupendous. It’s paid eternal dividends
that far exceed lunch memories. It’s shaped my character. It’s shaped my walk with Christ. And ultimately, it’s shaped my own children’s
faith now that they are married adults. So listen up. Here's my advice.
(But first of all, let me mention, some of you reading this
have lost your children to death. I’m totally speechless. I’ve never lost a child, and such thoughts
certainly put a new perspective on being without your kids for only “a day.” Please know I have you in my heart. May the Lord extend His comfort to you over the
holidays and give you the grace to read articles like this one for goodness sake. I love you and certainly felt a little quickening to address you while I was writing this.)
Yet now, for the rest of you who will be away from your children
for only day, here’s a few suggestions (and yes, please do keep things in perspective).
l. Never complain to your children or make them feel bad
that they are with their dad and not you. Tell them to have a wonderful time as
they leave. Give them a little toy
turkey to take with them and tell them to remember when they hold it to thank
God for their family. (Even though you’re hurting, doesn't mean they have to.)
2. Get outside yourself that day. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or somewhere
like that. Ask God to make you a blessing to someone else. One year I visited nursing homes and just
went from room to room and said kind words. (In the name of Jesus I was enabled
to do kind acts outside the realm of my own sadness.)
3. Buy a
journal and go to the park. Be still. Listen. Look at the Fall leaves. Record all the things you are
thankful for. You’ll be surprised how
the Lord will bless you when you create a catalog of your unthanked blessings.
4. Make your children an “I
Love You” banner for their rooms. When
they return they might be sad to have to transition into another household
again. Make their rooms a safe and warm
place where they want to return to it. Then share with them all the "cool" things you did on Thanksgiving and how God accompanied you in your day. Inquire about their Thanksgiving, but put a shield over your heart before you ask. WARNING: IT WILL HURT... so get out your broom so you can quickly brush it right off your heart.
5. Spend time with family or friends. And if you’re totally
alone, give yourself a “Me” day. One
year I spent the whole day in the movie theater… alone – Yum yum.. I ate lots of buttered
popcorn.
6. Whatever you do, play a game with yourself in your heart. The game is…"Today, Lord, this is OUR day. I am
going to verbalize one by one the specific ways you’ve been good to me and say thank you out loud." You’ll be amazed at the unexpected goodness that will boomerang your
way later.
7. Be filled with Joy!
Choose JOY. Read my blog
below! You get to pick. Choose JOY or choose DEFEAT. And why would you choose defeat?
8. Ultimately, your children are absorbing the attitudes and
lifestyle you model. It almost happens
by osmosis! Make sure what’s coming out
of you is Christ honoring. It will serve
you and them well in later years. I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE!!
God bless you as you seize this Thanksgiving and make it uniquely
special. It’s hard, but God will enable
you to do what He’s called you to do. And
in the end you will be able to say like I can now almost 25 years later that
NOT having Jason and Sara Thanksgiving Day over the years is the “worse/best” thing that could
have ever happened to me.
Love you tons and tons!